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Pride is an interesting thing. It's hard to define, really, because it's not tangible. You can't hold it in your hands and say "Ths is pride. I am proud" and yet it is very real. Very powerful.
I was proud of my brother Kevin when he learned to drive with hand controls.
I was proud of my brother Luke when he sacrificed his own feelings for Kevin.
I was proud of my dad when he stood up to his boss.
I was proud of my mom when she went back to teaching.
i was proud of Judith when she stood up to the grounds people who wanted to destroy our garden at the school.
I was proud of Smith when he sacrificed hs life to help Bliss.
These are just a few examples. And I realise I haven't listed any time I've been proud of myself. I'm not sure I've ever really felt proud of myself.
I could name any one of the people I helped back home, when God was giving me assignments. I was certainly proud of that. But, I only did what I was told. That wasn't really me. I never would have done those things on my own.
I think the moment I felt most proud was when I said 'I do' to my husband. That's when I knew I'd made it. I was somebody. I mattered. And not just because Go used me to help other people. I mattered to a wonderful, beautiful man.
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July 2006
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Topic: At what moment in your life did you feel most proud?
I love you too. *She takes his hands and puts them over her belly. The baby is moving around quite a bit. She looks up and smiles at him* *Caressing her stomach, then getting on his knees and laying an ear against it, listeing to their daughter move* I love you both. You've made everything wonderful. *looking back up at her, taking both her her hands in his. Then getting to his feet again.* I... I wanted to ask you something before I just ran off and did it. Looking down into her eyes, "Would you be terribly upset if I went to visit your parents? To see if they will come and visit? I know you've been missing them and want them here. I... I... want to make things right between us." Chewing on his lower lip. Joan shakes her head. "I wouldn't be upset. I'm glad you asked me first, but...but I want them here. When the baby's born, I want them here." Carressing her face with his fingers, "Then I'll go talk to them. I don't want to see you hurting because of me." By all the Love Gods he loved her, "And I know they don't contact you much because of all of this. You're mom should be here for this." "It's not because of you, Bliss. Not really. They don't understand, and they're...well, they did it themselves. You never did anything wrong. You loved me. And there's no reason to apologise for that. I love you. I never wanted to feel like I had to choose between them and you, but Bliss, I'd choose you every time." She leans up to kiss him. Leaning down to meet her for that kiss, "I just feel like I've come between you and your family. I never meant too. But I'm glad you choose me, because I choose you too. Above anything else, you're the one I love." One hand drifting to her stomach, feeling their daughter move. |